Children are one of the greatest blessings, they make life sweet, bring joy into your life and give hope. They are our future source of help and support, comfort and delight in life. These hopes depend on the good upbringing of the children and giving them a sound preparation for life so that they will become active helpful individuals in society and a source of goodness for their parents. However, if their upbringing and education are neglected, they will become nothing but hardship on their family and society as a whole
I will share with you today 21 points with proofs and evidence from the Qurʾān and authentic sunnah on the topic of raising children. From the book 'Naṣīḥatī li-Nisā’ (My Advice to the Women) authored by Umm ʿAbdillāh al-Wādiʿīyyah, the daughter of the late Imām of Yemen, Al-ʿAllāmah Muqbil ibn Hādi al-Wādiʿī - Raḥimahullā.
1. To teach the child, ‘Where is Allāh?’
2. Instructing the child to eat with his/her right-hand.
3. Teaching the child not to blow on hot food/drink.
4. Instruct the child by age 1-1½ to mention ‘bismillah’ upon eating/drinking.
5. To teach the child the pillars of Islām and īmān.
6. To teach the child the rulings of wuḍūʿ.
7. Eat with your right hand and eat which is near to you.
8. Get them accustomed with good and command them with ṣalāt at 7yrs of age.
9. Arrange their beds separately when they are 10yrs of age.
10. Accustom them with fasting.
11. Teach your child the correct ʿaqīdah.
12. Advise your child with that with Luqmān advised his child.
13. To seek permission to enter a house or a room.
14. Teach them the matters which are forbidden that they main abstain from them.
15. Explaining the meaning of an āyah or ḥadīth that is being related of them.
16. Connect their hearts to Allāh
17. Give concern to the memorisation of the Qurʾān.
18. Do not leave your children to mix with foolish children.
19. Do not leave your child outside in the evening.
20. Do not leave the child to play alone (always) and do not make learning boring.
21. Make your child sit with those who are righteous.
These 21 points are excellent in terms of raising children Islamically. I ask Allah to allow us to benefit from them.
I truly believe that the mother has a greater responsibility than the father in terms of bringing up the children and forming their characters. This is because children spend more time with their mother so she knows all about their behavioural and intellectual development during their childhood and in their teen years. Of course, the father is there to provide and to support too.
"Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock; a woman is the shepherd in the house of her husband and is responsible for her flock; a servant is the shepherd of his master's wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock."
May Allah allow us all to raise good righteous children and may He protect them. Aameen
Feel free to comment below and add any points on how to raise righteous children. I would love to hear from you too.
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